When I hear people categorise depression as "sadness" it just makes me realise how little they actually know about the condition. Depression is NOT sadness. Instead, it's more like a cloak of inability. It suffocates your ability to do or think anything except numbness. It causes you to function in a dream-like state. It clouds your thoughts and shuts off your filter system. It overtakes you. It paralyses you. But it is not sadness.
Imagine you are swimming in a pool with someone, when suddenly they are keeping you pushed under the water whilst you struggle to hold your breath any longer. Your mind begins racing, you begin to freak out- but are unable to do anything as someone else's strength is keeping you under. That is what depression feels like. You are not in control of it, and it is as if something else is your puppet master. It comes out of nowhere. A person suffering from depression may have just had an amazing day (even the best day of their life) when suddenly this clouding sensation overtakes their brain. They may put on a mask and appear to be continuing to have an amazing day. Still laughing, but inside they can't wait to just go home and be alone. Once arriving home they may spend hours upon hours just laying/sitting in one place and not moving. To them, not much time has passed. No thoughts have even occurred in their mind. All they feel is nothing. Suddenly all their motivation and energy has disappeared. It's as if the little moment of happiness had to be exchanged for this. This feeling may last a few minutes, to even several days (or weeks.)
The Perfect Valentines Gift!
Personally, I have never gotten too involved in Valentines Day. I've never understood why you must wait until the specific date of February 14th to let someone know just how you feel for them. I'm a firm believer that if you have feelings, you should let them be known. Imagine how many potential relationships don't happen because one individual is waiting for the "perfect time" to open up. Let's be real, timing is never perfect. Life happens. So stop allowing the excuse of perfect moments ruin things for you. On the other side of the spectrum- those that are already in a relationship: once again, why wait until Feb 14th to surprise your other? If you seriously wait 356 days just to write a cute note confessing how you feel, or to buy a box of chocolates, you need a boot up the derriere. Not only are you out of touch with your emotions, but shops are also very wise to people like you. Which is why every single box of chocolates, every rose, everything which screams "romance" (as said by the mass producers) increases its cost to something drastic like $25 for a card.
The Perfect Date Night!
You’ve had this date booked for over a week now. You’ve been counting down the days, then hours until it’s here. Finally, the night has arrived. It is Date Night! I don’t mean your typical: two-person date night. No. I’m talking about the DN that is even more exciting (and important) than that. I’m talking about your solo night to yourself. I can’t stress enough just how important it is to spend time alone. To spoil yourself completely. Some people couldn’t think of anything worse than spending half a night alone- let alone a whole, but I will always look forward to my DN with myself. I believe it’s one of the healthiest things: being able to be by yourself- and to enjoy it. If you can’t handle you- how can anyone else?
Let me tell you exactly how my perfect DN goes and then maybe you too will learn to love this night almost as much as a typical one.
It’s Time to Dip Your Toes
I’m not going to lie, or sugar coat it for you: life can be stressful. Unless
you’re a sloth, who spends 18 hours of the day sleeping, and the other hours
eating; you would already be very aware of this. There are so many things in
life we feel pressured to throw upon ourselves. The effort we continuously put
in for work; in an attempt that our boss may finally one day appreciate us and
give us that promotion we long deserve. Those countless petty disagreements you
have with your best friend. Shaving your long-haired dog every single week in summer because their hair seems to be mocking your balding husband (and you can’t
have that). The list of stress is endless. Let’s face it; some of the things we
allow to hassle us aren’t actually that stressful, but that doesn’t stop us
from freaking out in the meantime. What
I’m about to tell you now is going to save you hundreds, or possibly thousands
of dollars, in future therapy bills that you’ll have when you finally snap
with the weight of life.
You need to have a break. By break, I don’t mean a 2 week paid vacation
from work and commitments in general (although that would be nice). It’s just
not possible to do every single week. What I mean by break is a 10minute - 1
hour ‘recess’ once a day (you know you can have it seeing as you took the time
to even read this article), and literally devote that time solely to yourself.
You may live near a park, walk there and literally just sit on a bench alone
for ten minutes. Take your shoes off and let your feet enjoy the feeling of the
grass. Another example of
a break would be sitting on a nice comfy chair and read some inspirational quotes
(admit it you love purposefully searching quotes that relate to your current
emotional state). If none of these examples inspire you to have a break; find
something you enjoy doing to relax. Humans were not made to constantly live off
adrenaline, eventually, that wears out. Let yourself have an extremely short solo vacation each and every day just to recharge. You could even take
this time to plan your dream holiday that you one day want to take! It’s amazing how
being alone can wipe stress away.
If you already take the time to devote to yourself daily, let us all
know what your recess includes. Life isn’t meant to be stressful, nor does it
have to be. Be free to be you
Until next time,
xox
3,2,1 GOAL!
New Years has come and gone, just as the many resolutions that
were destined to fail within the 72 hours of being professed have. “I’ll sign up to the gym and go every
single day!” That one failed before the hangover even had time to set in on
the 1st. “I’m going to quit my job and
do the one thing I’m passionate about most!” Had you even dipped a toe into
the thing that you're most passionate about prior to this sweeping declaration? If
not, I can assure you, quitting a job and diving into an empty pool full of
concrete is not a good idea. Let’s
face it: New Years is the guaranteed date many promises we continuously make to
ourselves are created- only to be broken. Why are we okay with creating a
tradition in letting ourselves down? Usually, you would feel bad in letting a
close friend down over a small matter, so why do we continuously not even think
twice about religiously making a giant resolution (we will probably give up on)
each and every year? Why is “New Year,
New You” such an important thing? I can answer that question for you right
now: It’s not! Instead I’ve come up with an alternative to the tradition of
your New Years broken promise to yourself. That being: The Weekly Goal.
Before You Get Mad
There is probably one main thing you want to do when someone makes you angry: and that is not 'think rationally.' A nice alternative to that option is to say whatever it is that's going through your mind at that current moment in time. Trust me, that is not the best decision. People often say things they later regret when they spit whatever venom is currently in their head. Words can never be taken back. That is one lesson you will learn in life: either the hard way, or by reading this and realising the truth to that statement. In this post I have come up with 5 things you must always ask yourself before you get mad.
Don't let how others treat you reflect upon how you treat them.
"Kindness. It doesn't cost a damn thing. Sprinkle that shit everywhere!"
Truer words could not be spoken about the act of kindness. Choosing to be kind to someone doesn't cost anything in comparison to the opposite: choosing to be mean. You can choose to be mean, but in doing so you may ruin a friendship/relationship/your own reputation. So in the end you've paid a very high price, and is it truly even worth it in the long run? In my head the answer is an easy no.
People are capable of being nasty and are able to treat others with little to no respect. Don't let how others treat you dictate who you are. If someone doesn't respect you, you should still respect them. Never mirror how someone treats you if it's a negative to begin with. That does absolutely nothing but make you the same as them. Do you really want to become a negative person just to get even with another individual? Or would you rather be a positive energy whom people enjoy to be around as you do nothing but uplift those close to you?
You need to stay true to the real you. Ask yourself the question, "is it worth becoming that kind of person just to get 'even' with someone like that," or would you rather edge yourself away from such negativity? Negative people are a burden to be around. They do absolutely nothing but bring you down to their own level. Either speaking lowly of others, or doing nothing but talk down upon everything in their life. Life can be hard at times, but you are still in total control of how you view it. There may be more negatives at the present, but there will always be at least one positive- no matter how small. I would much rather focus on that one small positive which will uplift your spirit, than the negatives which will do nothing but depress you and cause you (and possibly those around you) emotional harm.
I'm no shrink (or mathematician) but I can tell you one thing for certain- life is 1000% better when you stay true to yourself, and choose to be kind over being cruel.
Truer words could not be spoken about the act of kindness. Choosing to be kind to someone doesn't cost anything in comparison to the opposite: choosing to be mean. You can choose to be mean, but in doing so you may ruin a friendship/relationship/your own reputation. So in the end you've paid a very high price, and is it truly even worth it in the long run? In my head the answer is an easy no.
People are capable of being nasty and are able to treat others with little to no respect. Don't let how others treat you dictate who you are. If someone doesn't respect you, you should still respect them. Never mirror how someone treats you if it's a negative to begin with. That does absolutely nothing but make you the same as them. Do you really want to become a negative person just to get even with another individual? Or would you rather be a positive energy whom people enjoy to be around as you do nothing but uplift those close to you?
You need to stay true to the real you. Ask yourself the question, "is it worth becoming that kind of person just to get 'even' with someone like that," or would you rather edge yourself away from such negativity? Negative people are a burden to be around. They do absolutely nothing but bring you down to their own level. Either speaking lowly of others, or doing nothing but talk down upon everything in their life. Life can be hard at times, but you are still in total control of how you view it. There may be more negatives at the present, but there will always be at least one positive- no matter how small. I would much rather focus on that one small positive which will uplift your spirit, than the negatives which will do nothing but depress you and cause you (and possibly those around you) emotional harm.
I'm no shrink (or mathematician) but I can tell you one thing for certain- life is 1000% better when you stay true to yourself, and choose to be kind over being cruel.
Am I dating a Human or an Onion?
"I spent most of my nights crying and wondering why I just wasn’t enough. I refused to let go. Instead: I allowed myself to constantly be beaten, constantly shrunk. Until finally, I was a shadow of whom I once was. I was, putting it bluntly, pathetic."
If you had snooped in my room and managed to find my journal- that is a snippet of an entry you would've come across quite some time ago now. I was the fool who "fell for love." Just reading back on that now makes me angry at myself. To know that I allowed someone else to warp my whole perception of myself, and even change who I was, was insane. Reality is though- I'm far from the only person in the world to have done this to themselves.
Today I am happy to say I am no longer a shadow of me. I will never allow my self value to be defined by others, nor will I ever stay around someone who is more poison than passion again. That relationship in general, wasn't the worst. The person I was with was kind (at times) and a great cheerleader to me. It's just certain things stood out more than the positives and therefore made me question myself and slowly change who I was to try make them happier. That was mistake number one.
I am going to list a few things you should never have to feel/think/experience if you are in a Healthy relationship.
If you had snooped in my room and managed to find my journal- that is a snippet of an entry you would've come across quite some time ago now. I was the fool who "fell for love." Just reading back on that now makes me angry at myself. To know that I allowed someone else to warp my whole perception of myself, and even change who I was, was insane. Reality is though- I'm far from the only person in the world to have done this to themselves.
Today I am happy to say I am no longer a shadow of me. I will never allow my self value to be defined by others, nor will I ever stay around someone who is more poison than passion again. That relationship in general, wasn't the worst. The person I was with was kind (at times) and a great cheerleader to me. It's just certain things stood out more than the positives and therefore made me question myself and slowly change who I was to try make them happier. That was mistake number one.
I am going to list a few things you should never have to feel/think/experience if you are in a Healthy relationship.
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