When I hear people categorise depression as "sadness" it just makes me realise how little they actually know about the condition. Depression is NOT sadness. Instead, it's more like a cloak of inability. It suffocates your ability to do or think anything except numbness. It causes you to function in a dream-like state. It clouds your thoughts and shuts off your filter system. It overtakes you. It paralyses you. But it is not sadness.
Imagine you are swimming in a pool with someone, when suddenly they are keeping you pushed under the water whilst you struggle to hold your breath any longer. Your mind begins racing, you begin to freak out- but are unable to do anything as someone else's strength is keeping you under. That is what depression feels like. You are not in control of it, and it is as if something else is your puppet master. It comes out of nowhere. A person suffering from depression may have just had an amazing day (even the best day of their life) when suddenly this clouding sensation overtakes their brain. They may put on a mask and appear to be continuing to have an amazing day. Still laughing, but inside they can't wait to just go home and be alone. Once arriving home they may spend hours upon hours just laying/sitting in one place and not moving. To them, not much time has passed. No thoughts have even occurred in their mind. All they feel is nothing. Suddenly all their motivation and energy has disappeared. It's as if the little moment of happiness had to be exchanged for this. This feeling may last a few minutes, to even several days (or weeks.)
Many doctors tell you the best way to fight depression is to get a hobby, or even start exercising (as endorphins make you happy.) To a person fighting depression, both of these two options are the hardest. Finding motivation when you have absolutely none, is near impossible. Or, finding the energy to get out of bed to go for a run, when you feel as if you haven't slept an hour in your whole life- is like asking someone who is paralyzed to just get up and walk. I'm not saying fighting depression is impossible, I'm saying it is a lot more difficult than 'medical experts' treat it to be.
If you know someone who suffers depression you need to start realising they aren't in control of their moods. They don't do or say things to offend you. Instead, they are doing what is considered perfectly normal for themselves. They are trying to survive the best way they know how. Just like you and I are trying to do on a daily basis. The best thing you can do when someone is suffering an 'episode' of depression is to just let them know you are there for them. Tell them how much they mean to you. In their current state, they feel as if they are completely alone.
Many times when I myself have fought with my brain, I have had thoughts of how much better my life would be if I just ceased to exist. I don't think suicidally, nor would I ever hurt myself- but there are many times I just believe it would be much easier to no longer be existing. That is what depression is. That is also why I feel and believe a depression sufferer is constantly fighting fatigue. The overwhelming thoughts that are constantly being created in their head are taking their energy levels away.
So the next time you hear of someone who is fighting with depression, don't be quick to throw around the line "everyone gets sad. Get over it!" As like I said, depression is not sadness but a constant war within oneself.
Until next time,
xox
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