There is probably one main thing you want to do when someone makes you angry: and that is not 'think rationally.' A nice alternative to that option is to say whatever it is that's going through your mind at that current moment in time. Trust me, that is not the best decision. People often say things they later regret when they spit whatever venom is currently in their head. Words can never be taken back. That is one lesson you will learn in life: either the hard way, or by reading this and realising the truth to that statement. In this post I have come up with 5 things you must always ask yourself before you get mad.
1: Am I Hungry?
Food plays a vital role in our mood. Whenever you finish eating your favourite meal how do you feel? Content, relaxed and happy? Usually you feel the complete opposite when you're stomach is constantly grumbling and you have little to no energy left due to not having food in you. There is even a word for this: Hangry (angry due to being hungry.) I personally am known to be a bit snappy/defensive when I haven't eaten in just 2 hours. Before you get angry at someone for something they've said/done, answer to yourself first: "am I hungry?" Is what this other individual has done really worth getting angry at, or should you calm yourself first by eating a sandwich, then have another think about the situation?
2: Am I Tired?
Just like lack of food can toy with our emotions- so can sleep. Babies give the perfect example of this. Whenever a baby is over tired and ready for bed, it usually cries. As we are now adults (or at least older then an 11 month old) it is socially unacceptable for us to cry when we are tired. At times its even impossible for us to sleep whilst we are tired: we may be at work, out to lunch etc. So instead of sleeping, we just have to keep on living out our day despite how zombie like we may feel. This has a major roll in our moods. Once again, before you react to something ask yourself: "could it be because I'm tired that I feel I want to get angry?" If you had a nap then and there, and woke up an hour later- would you still be in the same emotional state you currently are?
3: Am I Bored? (Doing It For A Reaction)
Lets be honest, sometimes we can be extremely bored and at times get a thrill out of drama. With that being said, you need to go back and reread my opening paragraph and remember: words can not be taken back. Is what this person doing/said something you are in fact offended or hurt by? Or, are you just trying to cause a bit of excitement in your day and cause an avalanche of words going backwards and forwards? If it is the latter you need to stop! If you try to cause drama over nothing you are not only putting your relationship with this individual at risk, but if you go forward with this fight you may also cause future pain for yourself- if this individual holds what you're about to do against you.
4: Am I Upset About Something Else?
When you're currently already frustrated or upset about something, anything that follows can be taken extremely personally, or even in the wrong way. This can lead to a domino effect. First, something has happened to upset you: which then leads to you reacting to someone else, which could then possibly cause this person to move on their frustration to the next person and so on and so forth. Reality is, none of you are actually focusing on the problem or dealing with it, but are instead trying to move your hurt to the next person. Which is never a good idea, as like I'm saying again: could bruise or even destroy relationships.
5: If This Happened To A Friend How Would I Feel They Should React?
Finally, question five. Which I believe is the most important. When something happens to another person (someone close to us) we tend to have a less cloudy vision of what actually happened as we're not directly involved. Some times we see our friends over reacting to certain events we don't deem to be that major, as we are not emotionally involved. This is something we need to take into consideration for ourselves. Before you think of getting mad at something/someone, try to emotionally separate yourself from the issue and take another look at the situation and see if it truly is as big as you first assumed. Most of the time it won't be. Which is why I ask you to ask yourself: "If this happened to Joe Bob would I feel he should react, or not?"
Getting mad in the end is never really an answer. There are always alternatives to it. If someone has said or done something to you which has resulted in you being angered to the point you want to snap, you need to ask yourself "should I have a conversation with this person instead and explain what has upset me," or if this is not the first time the person has done this same thing: "is this friendship really a friendship anymore?"
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