The Colour of Love

By Carissa McHolme

“Don’t you ever feel like you’re wasting your time?” Zoe asked whilst fidgeting with the elastic around her tiny wrist. “I mean, I know you love him, but you still don’t see colour,” she continued. I instantly replied, “I don’t. Zack makes me feel safe. He may not give colour to my dull world, but he gives me the exact warmth I’m positive shades have. Our love is more powerful than seeing things differently.” Just the thought of him made my heart skip a beat. It was clear that he wasn’t my destined lover, but he was my everything.

            It was Monday morning and Zoe and I were sitting on the train to work together. It was true, despite how much I loved Zack; I still didn’t see the world in anything other than black and white with many shades of grey. Meeting your soulmate was supposed to cause your world to explode in colour. Yet here I was, 5 years into my relationship, and still waiting to experience even a slight glimpse of a pale warm shade.  

            Zoe had never met Zack. Not because I didn’t want her to, it was just tough finding time. Zack was constantly travelling for work, which made it difficult for him to attend events when they all coincided with him on the other side of the country. Yesterday morning however, his boss had notified him that his work trip was cancelled, so tonight would be the first time that Zack was able to come with me to a function.

            Later that evening I was trying to decide on which dress to wear. They all had similar grey shades, but the designs differed dramatically. I finally settled on a light grey laced number, with a deep cut V.

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” I could smell him before he even spoke. A slight sandalwood scent, mixed with freshly mowed grass. I spun around and ran into his awaiting arms.

“Zack!” I cried as I immediately felt myself be swept up in his strong loving embrace. I instantly felt safe and at home.

“You’re definitely wearing that one,” his deep voice said whilst twirling me around and ending with a passionate kiss. His lips had the faint taste of mint, and were as welcoming as a warm bed on a winter’s night. Every hair on my body stood at attention whenever he touched me. Colour meant nothing compared to the love Zack and I shared.

            It had just gone 6pm when we pulled up to the venue. The sun had finally set, but left its grey streaks behind. Zack opened my door for me and reached for my hand. “Are you ready to finally introduce me to all of your work mates? Do I need any tips before we enter?” He jokingly asked.

“Of course, I’m ready! Just be yourself, and you’ll be fine,” was my response.

            The pebbles on the ground crunched under our shoes as we made our way to the wooden front doors. It was as if we were entering a castle with how the doors towered over us. I felt compelled to run my fingers over the carvings and enjoyed the smooth feeling they had. As soon as we entered Zoe was instantly in front of us. “I can’t believe I’m finally meeting the amazing Zack!” She cried. Zack laughed whilst giving her a friendly hug. Next to Zoe was a strange man I hadn’t met before. He was an old-fashioned type of handsome. With hair gently pushed back out of his face, a style like the one James Dean had perfected in the 50’s; only his wasn’t recreated. You just knew it was naturally that way, he didn’t even need to try. Then his eyes, it was almost as if he could read your mind with just one look. “Oh, this is Keith. We’ve been seeing each other for a few months now. I thought I’d finally introduce him to everyone,” Zoe answered my question for me. “Keith meet Zack and Rachel.”

            Zack and Keith nodded at each other, then Keith went to shake my hand. The instant we touched something shifted. It was almost as if the room became warmer. Everything started changing, yet staying the same. The champagne flutes behind us glistened in a way I had never seen before. Keith suddenly looked different to anyone else I had ever seen. I could see Keith staring at me so intently. His cheeks changed from grey to something else. Was this happening to him too? I quickly dropped his hand and the room went back to normal.

            “I think I left my phone in the car. I’ll be right back,” I said. I made my way out the same wooden doors, and immediately sat on the bench near the garden out front. This couldn’t be happening. Was I finally seeing colour? My brain couldn’t make sense of what had just happened. I put my head in my hands and shut my eyes.

            The door opened and closed and then someone sat next to me. “You saw that too, didn’t you?” It was Keith.

“Saw what?” I made a feeble attempt to hide what I already knew.

“Colour.”

One simple and innocent word. Yet enough to ruin everything. I slowly looked at Keith. He carefully placed his hand on my knee. Suddenly the world began changing again. I tried to push his hand away but he fought it. “Just let it happen,” was all he said. The garden in front of us became more captivating than I had ever seen a garden look before. It was almost as if the flowers looked like they smelt. Colour was beautiful. There was no other word to describe it. Finally, beautiful had a true meaning.  I looked over at Keith, and couldn’t believe how unbelievably handsome he suddenly appeared. I wanted so badly to reach out to him, to kiss him. Every part of me was drawn to him. I had never experienced this in my life. I felt so guilty in my thoughts, I instantly had to look away.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I love Zack, and Zoe is my best friend. I don’t want colour.” The words almost came out as sobs from me. “I understand.” Was all he had to say in response.

            I made my way back into the Ballroom. The same grey room as before. Both Zoe and Zack had dull champagne flutes in their hands. Everyone was still wearing the same depressing shades as when I first arrived. My heart sunk a little. Was Zoe right when she asked about colour? Am I wasting my time with Zack?

            That night I barely slept. Visions of colour kept running through my head, and so did Keith’s face. No matter how much I tried, his face kept appearing. His perfectly beautiful face. I knew Zack was asleep next to me. I could hear each of his slow breaths. Yet now, he felt further away from me than ever before.

            A week had passed and things were slowly going back to normal. Now that colour wasn’t so fresh in my memory, and I hadn’t seen Keith again; I was able to work on forgetting. Just like you forget the exact taste of a sweet you once had, I too was forgetting how breath-taking both colour and Keith were.

            I arrived home on Friday to find Zack packing his bag. “I’m so sorry babe. Works booked me a flight for 7pm tonight.” He looked defeated. I knew his job was extremely stressful lately, and I could finally see it was taking a toll on him. As well as the bags on the bed, he also had bags under his eyes. I didn’t want him to leave. “Don’t be sorry! I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.” I said. I knew voicing my disappointment would do nothing but make him feel worse. His instantly looked somewhat better. An ever so slight sparkle came to his eyes. “I love you Rachel.”

            The next night I was watching reruns on TV when Zack’s face lit up my phone. I muted the show and answered his call.

“Hey babe! How are you? I miss you so much.” I was greeted with silence on the other end.

“Zack? Are you there?” Finally, I heard him take in a breath.

“Rachel. Hi.” Something wasn’t right. His voice didn’t have the same tone it usually did. He sounded dull, almost emotionless. Whenever he spoke to me I could always feel the love in his words, it was as if they danced for me. His words weren’t dancing right now. 

“I met someone Rachel. I met someone, and then I saw colour. I’m so sorry, but I’m not coming home. We’re done.” Then even more silence. I looked at my phone and saw he had hung up on me. My whole world stopped. Everything became a blur. I could hear my heart beat, and nothing else. What just happened? I instantly tried to phone him back but he rejected my call. A text suddenly popped up

“Don’t call me.”

            I couldn’t feel the tears, but I knew they were there. I felt absolutely nothing. My whole body was numb. I had given up colour for Zack, yet I wasn’t worth more than a phone call to him. Just like that, we were done. He was my personal colour, but our love was grey. 

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Labels: colour of love , fiction , love , love stories , love story , novel , relationship , scifi , short stories , short story , shortstories