The Colour of Love

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By Carissa McHolme

“Don’t you ever feel like you’re wasting your time?” Zoe asked whilst fidgeting with the elastic around her tiny wrist. “I mean, I know you love him, but you still don’t see colour,” she continued. I instantly replied, “I don’t. Zack makes me feel safe. He may not give colour to my dull world, but he gives me the exact warmth I’m positive shades have. Our love is more powerful than seeing things differently.” Just the thought of him made my heart skip a beat. It was clear that he wasn’t my destined lover, but he was my everything.
            It was Monday morning and Zoe and I were sitting on the train to work together. It was true, despite how much I loved Zack; I still didn’t see the world in anything other than black and white with many shades of grey. Meeting your soulmate was supposed to cause your world to explode in colour. Yet here I was, 5 years into my relationship, and still waiting to experience even a slight glimpse of a pale warm shade.  

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The Perfect Valentines Gift!

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Personally, I have never gotten too involved in Valentines Day. I've never understood why you must wait until the specific date of February 14th to let someone know just how you feel for them. I'm a firm believer that if you have feelings, you should let them be known. Imagine how many potential relationships don't happen because one individual is waiting for the "perfect time" to open up. Let's be real, timing is never perfect. Life happens. So stop allowing the excuse of perfect moments ruin things for you. On the other side of the spectrum- those that are already in a relationship: once again, why wait until Feb 14th to surprise your other? If you seriously wait 356 days just to write a cute note confessing how you feel, or to buy a box of chocolates, you need a boot up the derriere. Not only are you out of touch with your emotions, but shops are also very wise to people like you. Which is why every single box of chocolates, every rose, everything which screams "romance" (as said by the mass producers) increases its cost to something drastic like $25 for a card.

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I'm in love with...

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woke up with a dopey big grin on my face. I rolled over in bed, hugging my sheets to my body. I fell in love with her the way you fall asleep. Slowly, and then all at once.

Her name is Barcelona.

To begin with I was never excited about Barcelona, I'll be honest: it was a city that was just an added bonus to my trip. The second I arrived here I instantly had my heart captured. The scenery, the people and oh lord, the food. But let's not forget the sangria. I'm not one to drink, my last drinking night was Halloween last year. I've never been a huge fan of the flavor- or the following waste of day it tends to give, but once arriving here and trying a proper authentic sangria- I think I've become a Sangriaholic. 

Let's backtrack a bit. Once arriving here we were told we'd be staying in a Hostel. So of course with news like that we weren't excited. Now, let me get one thing straight. Hostels in Barcelona are different to everywhere else. It was basically 5 star sleepover luxury with all your friends. We had the cleanest room, the most spacious  private beds (with a personal adapter station and lights- yes a luxury for Contiki.) Our room in general was very retro: brightly colored and a flair of its own. For Contiki standards this was the best we'd had. 1000X's better than the chateau which Contiki bragged about. The chateau was an infested pigs pen in comparison to this. Heck, the chateau was a pigs pen in comparison to even a pigs pen. 

Our first night we went on a night walk around town. At first we were warned of pick pockets and sly people: but after an hour we realized we literally had nothing to worry about. We ended up in a quaint little pub with vines growing on the inside and surrounded by fairy lights. It was very different to anything Australia has. On our arrival, a girl dressed with a melted witch face came screaming and cackling past us. We never saw her again. To this day I'm still unsure if she actually worked there or not.

That night consisted of sangria, and even more sangria jugs (of course.)
It was splendid. 



Day two in Barcelona involved: cable carts flying over the whole city, getting lost in the most amazing food markets and then visiting the beach. Our time here was definitely too short. 



One strange thing that two girls have, are really inflamed looking mosquito bites all up their arms. So far our tour manager is adamant in saying they're an allergic reaction to the mosquitos. Which personally, I think is strange, as both girls have said they're not allergic. To be honest I think it looks more like a scabies infection or something similar. Probably from the chateau with how unhygienic and disgusting that place was. Hopefully their bites clear up though as they seem insanely itchy. 

Anyway I must go. I've stepped on the bus and once I do that my eyes automatically shut for siesta now. My body is learning quickly.

Until the French Riviera,
Adios

Xox

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I've seen London, I've seen France

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This last week I've done and seen more than I would in an average month. Or even year. A 6am depart from London to journey over to Paris, was nowhere near as bad as I originally thought it sounded. I think the excitement of the whole trip gave me that extra 'oomph.' 

On our drive to Paris we were able to see the white cliffs of Dover, then ferried on over to the other side. Paris at first glimpse was not what I had expected. I had expected a city a lot cleaner than it was, but the part we were staying in was what I would classify as 'the ghetto.' There were gypsies all over the streets and just selling random garbage. The saying 'one mans trash is another mans treasure' really seems to make sense here as a lot of the pointless objects they were selling did in fact get sold. On our trip we were fortunate enough to be upgraded with our hotel by Contiki due to the amount of gypsies outside of the original hotel intended for us. The upgrade was very much appreciated by all. We had a group dinner that night which included champagne and you got it- escargot. I struggled in getting the slug from the shell- then realized my first one didn't in fact have the slug in it. On second attempt I eventually got it out and it was much larger than most. I can happily say I am not a fan of snail. The sauce was amazing but after chewing more than 3 times the sauce had gone, and on my fourth chew a new taste came and I had to spit my slug out. How attractive, I know.


On our second day in Paris we did a lot of walking, 8kms to be exact. We saw the Louvre and then went to go inside Notre Dame but I was not allowed in as the security man asked if I had a shawl and I said no.
My dress was not revealing in the least but I think they appreciate shoulders being covered. So myself and anther girl waited outside whilst watching girls with less coverage walking out the exit after being inside. Go figure.

My biggest regret so far is not learning more of these European languages. I stupidly assumed most places would speak English and I would get by with that- couldn't have been more wrong. Every sign was in French, majority of workers spoke French and it was a struggle. 

Day three arrived and myself and my room mate missed the bus into town on account of not knowing how to open a door. Yes, we missed our bus due to not knowing how to open a door. There were no handles, and only a red button. In both our experiences red buttons usually aren't a good sign so we refrained from pushing that one. Other than that day three was just another exploration day. 

Paris is beautiful. I truly loved Paris and would definitely go back. Before going overseas many people warned how rude the locals were but I can honestly say I never came across one rude person. There were many times they could've been (me not knowing their language and the small amount of words I did know- butchering them) but they were so helpful. 

That night we went to a group dinner which was adorable as it included a man playing the accordion for us. He was amazing. Constantly smiling and just being a beautiful human. After the dinner we went to a cabaret, not at the Moulin Rouge- but a local cabaret place. To be honest I'm happy we didn't go to the Moulin Rouge. A small group of us did and said it was very over rated and more suited for the generation above ours. Our cabaret on the other hand, my god! The talent they all had and the involvement with the audience truly made it what it was. Plus I'm sure even the Guys all loved it as they all saw boobs for the majority of the show. 


I'm not too sure which night this happened as I'm writing this a few days later on our bus ride (8hours to Barcelona) but we did all see and have a picnic under the Eiffel Tower. I can't even describe the beauty of the tower. The light show happened and everyone literally just gasped in awe. 



I feel really fortunate to have the Contiki group I have. Everyone gets along so well. When we were at the Eiffel Tower we all had wine/champagne and played a group game of "never have I ever" which was an amazing way to get to know everyone else. Then the Australians had to keep the Aussie spirit alive and whipped out a goon sack (wine sack) and started drinking that in true Aussie form out front of the tower. 


I don't want to ramble anymore (I'll leave that for my next post) 

So until next time,
Xox
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Am I dating a Human or an Onion?

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"I spent most of my nights crying and wondering why I just wasn’t enough. I refused to let go. Instead: I allowed myself to constantly be beaten, constantly shrunk. Until finally, I was a shadow of whom I once was. I was, putting it bluntly, pathetic."

If you had snooped in my room and managed to find my journal- that is a snippet of an entry you would've come across quite some time ago now. I was the fool who "fell for love." Just reading back on that now makes me angry at myself. To know that I allowed someone else to warp my whole perception of myself, and even change who I was, was insane. Reality is though- I'm far from the only person in the world to have done this to themselves. 

Today I am happy to say I am no longer a shadow of me. I will never allow my self value to be defined by others, nor will I ever stay around someone who is more poison than passion again. That relationship in general, wasn't the worst. The person I was with was kind (at times) and a great cheerleader to me. It's just certain things stood out more than the positives and therefore made me question myself and slowly change who I was to try make them happier. That was mistake number one. 

I am going to list a few things you should never have to feel/think/experience if you are in a Healthy relationship. 


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The Change of McHolme

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As many of you have probably realised, for the last month or so- my Blog has been Dead. I mean Dead to the point there was almost a Funeral held for it. Flowers and all (pink lilies please.)

Today I have some exciting news for you all though, and that is- I AM BACK! 

But, in saying that I am not back as I was before. My Blog is being completely revamped. I no longer am devoting this Blog 100% to Beauty. That is no longer all I want this Blog to be about. If you are subscribed to my YouTube channel, or follow me on Insta, I feel you may have already started gathering this.

I know in the past my Blog has very much so been Beauty Related and I know this is going to be a massive change- one I am unsure how it will be taken. But I have a lot more to talk about than just Beauty. If anything Beauty is now near the bottom of my list of Brain Farts.  Im sure on the odd occasion I will chuck in a Beauty Related post, but from now on you can consider this an "It's My life" type of Blog. 

Starting today I plan to make my Blog very different. I plan to make Posts directed at: brutally honest advice,  entertaining stories on my life (my occasional Paris Hilton brain) and in general  keeping you updated in my life journey (who I will eventually become) and so much more. 


I'm planing on doing all this whilst keeping my own privacy. After all- once the mystery is gone you have nothing. You can consider this an edited version of my own private diary. 


I hope you can enjoy the change I'm bringing and can therefore relate even more with me.

Until Next time,
xox
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